


it only takes one moment for a heart to break

by aiihyxe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Friends, F/M, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentioned Kawanishi Taichi, Mentioned Shiratorizawa, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, OOC Semi Eita, OOC Shirabu Kenjirou, Pining, Pining Shirabu Kenjirou, Sad Ending, Semi Eita Swears, Shirabu Kenjirou Swears, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, Shiratorizawa, Teen Angst, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, ahaha i love semishira so im gonna write some semishira, bisexual disaster semi eita, gay like really gay shirabu kenjirou, i promise i write straight shit i just really like semishira, lolz i hate life, pleas, shirabu kenjirou centric, the semishira tag is so small, there actually isn't any death in this but beware for my next fic, well not really but i don't want to not put it imao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiihyxe/pseuds/aiihyxe
Summary: Shirabu Kenjirou learns the hard way what love is.It all started with Semi Eita and it must end with Semi Eita as well. Maybe if Shirabu can pick whether today he should stare at Semi's lips or tell Semi he's ugly then he'll decide whether or not he likes him. he definitely doesn't.(he does and it hurts a lot)
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Kudos: 25





	it only takes one moment for a heart to break

**Author's Note:**

> semishira is probably one of my all time favorite ships. anyways this is basically just based off of my first love with my neighbor ahaha. guess how that went when you finish this fic. as always please leave kudos if you enjoyed, and a comment for requests or anything i can improve on. they might be a little OOC just because this is kind of a vent fic. no one dies though haha! yay! it's also four am i need sleep.

Semi and Shirabu aren’t dating.

As much as the glances when they believe the other isn’t looking, the times when they do happen to be looking and end up staring and admiring each others faces, or the times at practice when they’re genuinely flirting with each other say they are, they aren’t.

Shirabu doesn’t know why.

He likes Semi, but he’s sure Semi loves another, a pretty girl in his grade with auburn brown hair and pale smooth skin. Shirabu’s skin is pale but has ugly freckles that are like a splash of mud on his face. He hates them.

Semi doesn’t even like boys, he assures himself. Semi is the one really hot straight friend of the group that everyone has a crush on but never has a chance with. 

It’s quite unfair.

And since they’ve been neighbors since first year of middle school they know each other pretty well. Shirabu’s seen Semi at his angriest and has usually been the one to calm him down, and Semi’s seen Shirabu grow up and change. 

Ah yes, the classic childhood friends to lovers. Shirabu called bullshit on that, as was Semi and him even truly friends?

Because sometimes they’d bicker. They’d bicker heading home from school, they’d taunt each other, make insults, point out the other’s flaws, and scream and curse the other out. The crows would fly away if they saw the two of them walking together.

During that time Shirabu’s heart would slowly break like glass, and as he compelled himself to not cry in front of Semi he’d shout a scathing remark to him and run ahead, tears finally falling and blinding him once he’s a good way ahead. 

Shirabu hated Semi sometimes to the point of wishing he woke up one day and Semi was dead. He was sure the other felt the same way. 

But, over the summer before Semi’s third and final year of highschool they got closer, sharing popsicles on each others decks, or having a water balloon fight with them and their younger siblings, or just Shirabu going over to Semi’s house-able to just walk in unannounced and head straight for either Semi’s brothers room or Semi’s room-and sit on Semi’s bed watching him play video games on his PS4. When Semi would take his headset off Shirabu held back a blush, as Semi’s hair was always messy afterwards and apparently really hot to Shirabu.

Shirabu loved Semi sometimes ot the point of wishing it could go like in the romance movies with him confessing in the most adorable way, and they end up together. He was sure the other felt the same way.

But they’d always go back to their old ways, throwing upsetting and rude words at each other one day and flirting the next. Semi’s love language seemed to be insults as flirting, and Shirabu’s seemed to be touch. He always wanted to run his fingers through Semi’s hair or hug Semi. God, he’s never hugged Semi. Shirabu knows what he’ll smell like since he’s taken a shower over at Semi’s so often. 

Taichi had always teased him about his big crush on Semi, and Shirabu always insisted it wasn’t a crush and that he hated Semi’s guts. But watching Semi set made his heart melt. As he watched those long fingers set the ball perfectly he’d always wonder why he was made to be the starting setter and not Semi. Semi deserved to set more. 

It was a warm August evening when Shirabu was sitting on his bed, exhausted from school. There had been no volleyball practice so the walk home was still a little peaceful. As he turned his phone on he pressed on Messages, scrolling to find Semi.

annoyingbutthead : mom’s taking us shopping do u wanna come?  
me: sure

5:06 PM

Shirabu slowly typed out a message to Semi, breath hitching in the process.

me: hey semi

As he pressed send his heart sped up, and he quickly put his phone face down on the bed, pretending he didn’t do anything. Semi wouldn’t pick up on anything strange, they text all the time! To prove his point Shirabu opened his phone again, and looked at the date the last texts had been from. 

A few months ago, but that’s still a short time.

me: hey semi  
annoyingbutthead: whats up

Oh god. He responded.

Shirabu didn’t know what to say. Should he say ‘Nothing much’? That seems a bit standoffish, but he can’t think of anything else. 

me: nothing much  
me: can i ask u something?

Shit! Shirabu didn’t mean to send that. Fuck, he can’t delete it, Semi’s already typing. This is a disaster. Rest in peace Shirabu Kenjirou for being a dumb fuck.

annoyingbutthead: sure

Okay. Okay. Shirabu can do this. What’s he gonna say?

As the letters just flow from his fingers Shirabu inwardly wonders if he’s truly going to confess to Semi. He’s not even sure the other likes him back. But, it’s only one crush? 

me: i kinda like you

Shit that sounds really girly. There’s nothing wrong with that but...Shirabu doesn’t want Semi making fun of him for that. Oh, who’s he kidding? Semi wouldn’t make fun of him for that, he’d make fun of him for liking him! God his mind is so messed up.

annoyingbutthead: i do too

No fucking way.

Shirabu can’t describe the feeling in his chest. It hurts, his chest really hurts, but it’s a good kind of hurt? It feels like adrenaline is coursing through his veins, and he wonders if this is what it feels like to be high? 

me: you do?  
annoyingbutthead: yeah. I thought you knew?  
me: i had no idea  
annoyingbutthead: oh well i knew you liked me for a few years now

Shirabu had to take a moment to process that. Semi has known he’s liked him for a few years now? This is so stupid. 

me: i don’t believe you.  
Me: so what now?  
annoyingbutthead: i guess we date? :D  
me: that sounds nice

As shirabu goes to sleep (because his sleep schedule is fucked up and so is his heart but he has a boyfriend now and that’s pretty dope) he dreams of kissing Semi, and wonders if Semi has nice lips.

It isn’t nice.

They tell their siblings they like each other, and get no response. Cool. Okay. Do they hide it from their parents or do they tell them? Would they be accepting? Shit, Shirabu has to tell Taichi. 

That sounds ordinary right? Shirabu fucks it all up.

He’s staring up at his ceiling thinking about Semi when it occurs to him.

What if Semi’s just using him?

What if Semi doesn’t like him?

Am i good enough for Semi? There’s so many other guys and girls he could get but he chooses me? 

Those thoughts slowly cloud over his mind, and the next day he snaps.

“Semi you are the ugliest and rudest person i’ve ever seen. I hate you.”

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

God, Shirabu’s never actually said that aloud before, and as he wonders what Semi will do next all he can think about is how he’s not hurting Semi if Semi’s just using him. 

Semi breaks. Semi’s eyes fill with tears and he slaps Shirabu on the cheek, nose slowly turning red.  
“God fucking dammit Shirabu. I knew it’d end up like this. Fuck you you sick bastard.” 

Fuck you  
Fuck you  
Fuck you  
Fuck you

Those words sound bitter and cruel. 

The way home that night they don’t speak. Both of them are crying and upset, and neither one has the courage to ask if this is it, if their relationship is truly over before it started. Shirabu makes a remark in his head about how he never tasted Semi’s lips.

They don’t speak until March.

March rolls around and Semi’s graduating. He’s gone from highschool, from the volleyball club, from Shirabu’s everything. They slowly reconnect after a few harsh words and hits to the face. Semi teaches Shirabu how to skateboard, and Shirabu finds himself rekindling the love for Semi he had forgotten he had. It’s a nice feeling to know you love someone so devotedly. They fall asleep listening to Semi’s playlists together sometimes, but before Shirabu knows it Semi’s off to college. 

And Shirabu’s all alone. It’s scary, and his first day of Third year he has a panic attack in the bathroom. He walked to school alone for the first time in five years that day, and misses Semi too much but can’t bring himself to call or text until September.

me: i miss what we had Semi. i wish i never said those things. i haven’t felt that beating in my chest since that day i confessed. I miss you

It stays unsent, words forever unsaid.

Shirabu can’t find himself able to love another like Semi. 

It truly does only take one moment for a heart to break, and nobody knows for certain they can glue the pieces back together. Even if they can, it’ll still be broken, the lines glowing ugly colors, ugly memories back to when it shattered.

But Shirabu will always find his way back to Semi, orbiting him like the Earth orbits the Sun. 

FIN


End file.
